i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
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