I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
