Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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