Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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