i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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