I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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