it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
