Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
