She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
