Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
