Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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