I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
