Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize