In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
