I just saw a hot homeless man
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
