I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She said her name was "party"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
