Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
