I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
