Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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