I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
