Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
