He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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