Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
