I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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