Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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