His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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