Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
this boner is exhausting
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
