What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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