There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize