White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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