Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
