2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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