i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
