ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize