did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
