So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize