i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize