If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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