So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
