can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
