no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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