I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We are two peas in an std pod
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
