Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
