During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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