Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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