there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
