i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
