Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize