My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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