They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
