nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just made my gag reflex go away.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
