it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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