if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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