Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
