Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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