so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think people are normalizing furries
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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