Plan B is the new Plan A
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
