i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
