remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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