No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
