do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
